How to Overcome Social Anxiety
Social anxiety is that tight, nervous feeling before meeting new people, speaking in front of a group, or on the way to a social gathering. It can make you feel like you’re mind is spiraling. Understanding where it comes from and how to manage it can help you move forward and feel more confident in social situations.
Why Do We Get Social Anxiety?
There are many reasons why someone might experience social anxiety. It can be a combination of genetics, past experiences, and how we interpret situations around us.
Genetics and Brain Chemistry: Some people are more likely to experience anxiety because of their family history. Additionally, how your brain handles certain chemicals like serotonin can play a role. If your brain is more sensitive to these chemicals, you might feel anxious more often.
Past Experiences: If you’ve had a difficult experience in a social situation, such as being bullied, it can stick with you. Even years later, your brain might associate social settings with negative feelings, which increases your anxiety.
Harmful Thought Patterns: People with social anxiety often have a way of thinking that can make things worse. For example, they might assume others are judging them or that they’ll embarrass themselves in front of others. This can lead to avoidance, which only makes anxiety stronger over time.
What Social Anxiety Means for You
The emotional and physical symptoms of social anxiety can be overwhelming. You might avoid certain social events because the fear of being judged or making a mistake feels too strong. You might also find it hard to connect with others or go on dates.
The problem with this is that avoiding situations only reinforces the anxiety. Over time, you might limit yourself more and more, and this can affect your personal and professional life.
Ways to Manage Social Anxiety
Dealing with social anxiety doesn’t mean you need to completely avoid social situations, nor does it mean that you have to "force" yourself to be comfortable all the time. There are practical, creative ways to handle it. Here are some ideas:
1. Break Down Social Situations
Instead of thinking about a whole event (which can feel overwhelming), just imagine the first step. If you’re going to a meeting, think about just walking into the room and grabbing a seat first. Once that’s done, focus on introducing yourself to someone. Take it step by step. This can reduce the pressure.
2. Create a Social Anxiety Toolkit
Think about what you can carry with you to help ease anxiety when it strikes. For some, carrying a calming object can help. Others might find it helpful to write down positive affirmations before entering social situations. Find what works for you and keep it accessible.
3. Reframe Your Thoughts
One of the most helpful ways to manage social anxiety is by changing the way you think about social situations. Instead of focusing on potential embarrassment or judgment, try to reframe your thoughts.
Instead of thinking, "Everyone will think I’m awkward," try thinking, "I’m just being myself, and that’s okay." This is a common method used by therapists and it’s all about shifting the focus from your fears to a more realistic perspective.
4. Start Small, Go Big
Start by putting yourself in small social situations that feel safe. This could be talking to a coworker or meeting a friend for coffee. As you build confidence in these smaller situations, gradually challenge yourself to try bigger social events. Gradual exposure helps build resilience and shows you that the worst-case scenario rarely happens.
Take the Next Step
Social anxiety is challenging, but it’s also manageable. A therapist can help make the process easier. If you’re interested in getting professional support to tackle your social anxiety, fill out my contact form. Overcoming social anxiety doesn’t happen overnight, but with patience and support from an anxiety therapist, you can move toward a place where you feel more at ease!